Not a good day
So I have not had a good day today.
I haven't had a good day in quite some time now... but today was a particularly bad 'not good' day. I just couldn't get myself to do anything. I could barely get out of bed...
But I don't have time for this. So to get myself out of this rut, I forced myself out of bed and sit in front of this computer and forced myself to study. But no luck. One day lost and wasted.
Very unproductive. My head is not in a good space right now.
And as the world would know... like attracts like, so all the sad, miserable songs appear to me and puts me in a worse space than before. What are you doing to me, World?!?!
Anyway, it's been over 6 years since I last touched this blog... that's what adulting does to ya. Keeps you from doing joyful things and instead do mundane shitty things that make your life boring and miserable.
It's been 6 years since MonsieurP disappeared from our lives... and it's been 8 years since Blue abandoned us, and 10 years since we left TheGoodMan - and I'm still not over it.
Blue came back into my life recently. And although I thought I had grown up enough, and grown stronger, and mentally tougher and gotten over it. I haven't. He still hurts my heart. More than I would care to admit out loud.
I guess this is what has brought on the super not a good day today.
I wish I had a reset button on my head and on my heart. Press reset. Clear that shit out and start fresh again.
I wish....